It will definitely be a year to remember, for both good and bad reasons.
While I ease myself through the quieter energy brought by the Autumn, I notice how exhausted I am. I wish I could just fall in a very long sleep to get all my strength back.
Then I remember that most people around me have surely been feeling the same, for this is a year that spared no one and we all have been brought face to face with our own limitations somehow.
So while I slowly decor my home to welcome the stillness of Samhain, I realize how desperate my soul is to really be right where I am, instead of constantly moving back & forth from a past long gone to a future that may never be. It’s the moving that has tired us all down, for while our soul’s call is to live in the breath of now, we obstinately choose to wander through the maze of our crazy mind.
As I light a candle, I let myself stare into the flame, almost drawn into the heat I feel on my face and I just want to stay there, without the need to know what happens next.
And I feel this has been the energy of this year.
We have been oscillating between the need of new and the weight of lifetime constrictions.
We all have been wishing we could just tear off our mask and run free showing the whole world who we really are, without the need to hide our flaws.
And in our attempt to do so, our little sneaky friend, “fears,” have been working extra hard to keep us right down in the bottom of our imprisoned soul.
While we still try to fit in, our heart is telling us we can’t for it no longer matters.
We are never going to be as others would like us to be, we are never going to be as perfect as our fears want us to be, and we are never going to breathe while that mask is covering our face.
As the world changes, we cannot be “not OK“!
This is our time to be OK with whatever we are, with whatever we’ve got, for here lies our strength.
It’s our time to defy our old selves and start flying free, away from limits imposed on us by whatever is without our heart.
And while I’m still staring at this tiny flame in my hand, I realize that I have spent the most past of this year wanting to defy gravity, refusing to accept others’ truths and believing that I could too make a difference, for myself and those around. In doing so, I had to use a vast amount of energy to float away from what I have been expecting of myself all my life. We are often our own worst enemies.
And while I’m still floating, sometimes higher, sometimes very close again to the ground, I can see there’s no other way to be right now.
Not for me.
Not for anyone-else.
There is no way back to our old ways because life has evolved so much in such a short space of time and we are called to trust our instincts, close our eyes, and leap…
© Antonia Lyons 2015
Check out Antonia’s Holistic services on her website. She also runs the fabulous blog ‘Bliss in the city’ which we love here at Being through balance and bliss you can also follow Antonia on twitter and on facebook too!