Being a coach means coming across all sorts of people. Some are just plodding along; others feel that they are truly stuck or that they are ready for a big change in their lives. Then there are the “exceptional” ones. They are a different breed altogether, and are usually divided into two distinct groups. There are the people who have really mastered some sort of “wow” factor in their field, and then there are those who believe that they have this vast potential trapped somewhere in the depths of their being, ready to be unleashed and change the human race for the better.
The first group are usually people who have spent years and tears to be the very best at what they do. The second, unfortunately, suffer from delusions of grandeur. In both cases, these are people who are constantly putting themselves under immense pressure; trying to “be someone,” stay at the top of their game, and never fail themselves or their loved ones.
In truth, “exceptional” people are few and far between. In each one of us there is a mini “exceptional me” ready to be forged into some sort of superstar. This could be Mum of the Year, Best Husband, Coolest Dude, etcetera and so on.
Call it a curse of modern times or whatever you like, but in a world where most people are trying to excel at something, most will, sadly, be failing. If too many people become “exceptional,” then exceptionality becomes commonplace. On the other hand, those who do succeed will begin to suffer from a “plague of exceptionality”, feeling isolated and estranged from others.
While the small number of really “exceptional” people may feel envied, misunderstood, and alone, the rest of us spend our lives feeling like failures because we are not “enough” — “cool enough”, “calm enough”, “sexy enough”…and the worst one of all, “happy enough”.
I have recently embraced the very liberating “have an average day” philosophy. After catching myself striving to become a starlet in the world of coaching and blogging, I quickly saw how that had taken the fun and passion out of what I do. Wanting to outclass everyone else had changed the game for me; one minute I was feeling the excitement of building something meaningful, and the next, I had started to wonder why I wasn’t being hailed as the next Marie Forleo. That pressure has not helped my business one bit, it is only when I come from a place of ease and joy that I can truly support my clients and make a difference in what I do.
When I’m present in my “enoughness”, life flows, things get done, and I know I’m being of service to the world. Wishing ourselves and others “an average day” gives us permission to do what we love and want to do, not what we think we should do, or what others are expecting of us. This is the formula for an extraordinary life! A series of “average days” will always lead us to be in the now, rather than where we think we should be. Of course, it’s only in the now that miracles happen!
The “Have an Average Day” Game
- Think of an area of your life that you’ve been striving to excel in recently.
- Being a great parent.
- Being Wonder Woman! (I made that up, but you know what I mean).
- What would be an “average day” in that area, meaning neither exceptionally good nor exceptionally bad?
- Spending half an hour before and after school solely focused on being with the kids?
- Spending 45 minutes a day actually writing?
- Speaking to 5 new prospective clients?
- Learning how to fly and teaming up with Superman? (Kidding!!!).
- If you repeat your “average day” 5 days a week, how much of a difference would you make in 3 months, a year, or a lifetime?
If you think about it:
- Spending at least an hour a day for 3 months with your kids will give you around 125 hours’ worth of quality time, which will result in you really getting to know them well and tuning in to their wants and needs.
- Writing for around 100 hours per month might mean the completion of a book in 6 months.
- Speaking to over 100 people a month will definitely lead to some sales.
Do 3 small things today that will have a positive impact on a project you are working on or a new adventure you want to start. Repeat daily for as long as you like, and see what difference your “average day” will make in your world!
©Antonia Lyons 2016
I’m the founder of Evoking Grace, a coaching program designed to inspire others to be their very best while bringing ease and balance into their everyday life. I can be contacted by email for more details on the work I offer or to schedule a free “Wisdom Within Session“. Follow my mumbling & musings on Facebook , Twitter & Pinterest to be part of my “online tribe”.